I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think my moral compass just broke
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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