I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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