What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
