someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
