I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
