Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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