Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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