if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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