I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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