Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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