i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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