just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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