I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
