I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
