Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i used baking grease as lip gloss
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
