Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
