I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
