WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
