I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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