i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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