I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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