just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
