I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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