He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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