Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
