I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
