There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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