I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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