my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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