He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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