Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
