i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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