3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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