Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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