I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
