we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
