so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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