I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
