If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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