i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
