I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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