every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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