I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
