the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
