i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
