I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
