I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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