He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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