so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
