I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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