Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
