I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
