He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
