i think my mom watched the whole time
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
