we have officially lost it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How external is "for external use only"?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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