I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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