She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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