hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
